One of my favorite parts of owning a farm that offers unique horseback riding adventures is all the special milestones that our guests have celebrated with us and our animals. I love being the place that stands out in their memory when they think of some of their happiest times.

We have had engagements, weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's Days, Mother's Days - even a long-awaited divorce finalization (hey, anything can be a celebration with the right mindset!) - all commemorated here. I often think back on them and get that warm fuzzy feeling knowing that we played a part.

You see, this farm also holds many of those milestones and memories for Chris and me. Chris proposed to me in our barn shortly after we bought it. This is where we found out we were expecting our little boy. Where we commemorated Chris closing a chapter in his life after serving our nation for 20 years. This is where we both have begun new chapters and taken a leap of faith to educate ourselves, research, and dive head-first into new careers as full-time farmers. This is where we have learned new skills to expand our food security with our ability to grow our own clean food - ethically, while also combating global warming through regenerative farming practices. We want to leave a better food system and planet for our son because, well… LOVE.

This past Saturday, at one of our Date Night Experiences, we were beside ourselves with joy when Matthew proposed to Jeanette around the bon fire, over champagne while looking out on our beloved farm. I was living for their energy, fueled by their love for one another.

But what really stood out to me were the words Matthew used when he proposed. He wrote Jeanette an old school, “check-yes-or-no,” love note, which was so charming, and I noticed what he said:

“My wish is…

That I can always make you happy.
Always take care of you.
To love you.
To have a family together.”

When he thought about all the reasons he wanted to ask her to spend the rest of their lives together, they were all about HER. He didn’t say, “you make me happy,” he said, I want to, “always make you happy.” He didn’t say, “you take such good care of me,” he said I want to, “always take care of you.”

I think it’s so easy in our personal relationships to focus on how someone makes us feel or what someone does for us. It can even translate into our day-to-day interactions: do they like me? are they judging me? are they upset with me?

It’s our nature to turn our focus inward, leading to anxiety and isolation. Yet, we know that no one can make us feel anything. Our feelings are the products of the thoughts we have and are our responsibility. Happiness comes from taking ownership of our own feelings and not placing the responsibility for managing our feelings onto those closest to us.

Instead, love is turning our focus outward. Love is service. Love is knowing that the people in our lives are all flawed, yet once we recognize the flaw, and we decide we are willing to pay that price of admission to love this person, we accept them exactly as they are. Love is taking care of ourselves so we can show up fully for those in our lives and be present, engaged, and always looking for the ways we can make them feel special. It’s contemplating how to love better, how to be the best friend, sister, mother, husband, father, daughter… that we can be - the best version of ourselves for this person. Turning our attention to how we can help, love, and be of service to those in our lives is an immediate happiness boost. It frees us from the burden of score-keeping, bitterness, and self-doubt. It leads to genuine, long-lasting connection.

I am so excited for Matthew and Jeanette as they embark on the adventure of marriage together. It’s been my favorite journey, and I know they, too, will knock it out of the park. After all, with the foundation they have laid for their relationship, they are well on their way - even if they did leave our barn cat, Bob, clutching his pearls. 🙀